my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
