well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
