matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
