google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
