What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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