she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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