Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
