...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
