I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
