So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
