Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
