Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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