HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
