so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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