the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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