i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
