Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
