yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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