Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize