every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
