Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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