I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
