I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
