That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
