yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
