My sheets look like a crime scene.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
