There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
