So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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