Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
