brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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