I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize