That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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