Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
