Just mADE A PArabola og urine
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
