Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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