You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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