At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he shaved USA in his pubs
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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