Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
