If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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