sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize