u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
