did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
