I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
