I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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