this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
