your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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