i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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