I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
this hospital has no fireball
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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