so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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