I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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