Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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