i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
