Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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