PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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