worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize