nut hugger
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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