Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
