i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
