Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
