I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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