I accidentally had phone sex last night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
