it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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