small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
