the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
