i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize