these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
