butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
