Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
