The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize