what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
