I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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