All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
